"Let It Go" by Jason Wright, Valrico FL Jason’s experience at 2015 HFW Conference

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  • “Let It Go” by Jason Wright, Valrico FL Jason’s experience at 2015 HFW Conference

I had the privilege of attending last year’s Hope for Wholeness conference entitled “Masterpiece In Process,” at Ridgecrest in North Carolina. 
I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but I did go expecting to hear more from God. And I did.
The first morning session on Thursday began with an invitation to take a broken piece of china or glass from a basket. We were to use a Sharpie pen to write on it something we wanted to let go of, and then lay it down at the foot of a cross on the last morning. We were encouraged to carry our piece in our pocket over the course of the conference. I wanted to grab a bunch of pieces honestly, but I took one translucent piece of glass that I liked. The word Anger instantly came to mind as something to write down, but very quickly I sensed the Holy Spirit say to me, “Anger is a symptom or response to a deeper issue.” 
So I set out to listen for God to speak to me about the root of my anger, so I could write on my broken piece. That piece literally stayed in my pocket for the entire conference, and I occasionally took it out and held it in my hand as a way of praying.
At some point during Friday I sensed the Holy Spirit confirm to me that the root of my anger was Control. That afternoon I went to a session called “The Father’s Heart.” It was very powerful and seemed to touch everyone present. After the session, I shared with the presenter, Tom Cole, about my anger. I shared how I was concerned that my own children could be suffering “Father Wounds” because of me, and that troubled me immensely. Tom confirmed that my children will have “Father Wounds,” because it’s inevitable for everyone, due to the fact that no father is perfect, and we all make mistakes. This realization doesn’t let me off the hook as a dad, but it does release me from trying to be perfect—something I can never be.
I shared about losing my best friend when I was 13 years old, and asked if that could be a source of my feeling a “loss of control” in my life, and if that contributed to my control issues, which in turn fuels anger when I can’t control things. Tom said, “That could be it.” I already knew that significant trauma or loss can cause anyone to feel like their world is out of control and can cause us in turn to want to maintain control in our lives, wherever possible. I am learning day-by-day and step-by-step to let go of controlling things, and to simply trust Him more.
Then something happened on Saturday morning during worship that was incredibly significant for me. We were led in a worship song I had never heard before (I learned afterwards that it was added at the last minute to replace another song). The song was “It Is Well.” We sang a couple verses, then came a bridge in the song, and the words hit me like a powerful wave, so I just sang through my tears. This is what I sang: “So let go my soul and trust in Him. The waves and wind still know His name.”
As I sang these words, I was making a declaration that I would let go of my Control, and just trust in The One who truly has control over all things. And knowing confidently that the storms of my life—the ones I want to control—are in utter submission to the name of Jesus. I finally grabbed the Sharpie and wrote on my broken piece of glass. 
Saturday night we had an opportunity to come to the altar and pray. I went up and knelt down, through tears I prayed about my Control. God was truly breaking something in me. Then on Sunday morning the time came to come forward and lay down our broken pieces at the Cross, and receive communion. I got in line holding my Control. When it was my turn to lay it down at The Cross, I literally sobbed. I just didn’t realize how much Control had rooted itself deeply in me. Some bad fruit had grown in me because of that Control. It hurt to have that root pulled, but I let it go. Once the pieces were laid down, we were able to pick up a lace cross in return—a cross to symbolize what God is giving to replace the brokenness. In my case, He gave me His Cross for my Control.
As the title of the conference, I am a “Masterpiece in Process.” But, sometimes the Control wants to re-root itself back in my life. Daily, I am letting God replace that Control with His peace and assurance. God needs me to be in a place of total reliance, and utter dependence on Him, in order to receive what He wants to give me, so I can be free of something I wasn’t meant to carry. 
I hope to see you at this year’s HFW Conference. You WON’T regret it! 
In Christ, Jason

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